schMORGANsborg

Got another one:)  If you’re just joining us then you might not know that one of my favorite pastimes is getting crushes on boys that I have no contact with…it’s a good time for all:)

And this one’s just in time for Christmas…maybe he’ll buy me a partridge in a pear tree! 

And don’t even bother asking me who it is cause you know I aint tellin’!  I just like dangling it out there for everyone…since you all are sooo concerned about my love life…or lack thereof:) 

I just got done yelling at the TV….and, no, there wasn’t a football game on.  Somehow I started watching the atrocity that is known as The Pickup Artist.  Has anyone else seen this show?  According to the website this show is a "tale of transformation".  It goes on to explain that "desperate times call for desperate measures.  Enter Mystery, best-selling author and ultimate pickup artist-a former nerd from the Great White North who has discovered the secret to wooing women.  Under his tutelage, he’ll guide this group of hapless horndogs through the rough waters of romance and help them find the courage to overcome their biggest fear-talking to women."

Seriously?  Have you seen this guy?  Apparently his name is Mystery and apparently he really knows how to woo women.

Ummm…ok.  I mean I’m not trying to completely bag on the guy and I must confess I only watched about 10 minutes of the show.  I’m sure he’s really a lovely person, but I just call ‘em like I see ‘em.  On next week’s episode the guys are given an assignment to make out with a girl they meet in a club.  Direct quote from one of the guys…"I feel like I’m finally entering manhood."

Set your tivos…and say a prayer for us TSGs.  If this is who the single guys of the world are taking pointers from we’re all up a crap creek.      

Let’s not.  One of my TSG friends got set-up recently and ended up meeting the guy for coffee.  I myself have experienced this particular form of blind date several times.  The following are my top 3 reasons why I don’t want to meet a blind date for coffee.

1.  I don’t like coffee.  Therefore, it stresses me out standing in line trying to figure out something to order that won’t make me hurl on my potential future husband. 

2.  There’s nothing to do, but drink coffee.  I know that seems obvious…and if you’re meeting a friend then it’s perfect because you can focus on talking to each other.  But if you’re meeting a complete stranger with only the little bit of vague information that the seter-uper has given you to make conversation off of…trust me you need more to do than just drink coffee.  I realize to some dinner seems like a bigger time commitment than coffee.  However, in my opinion, the longer time requirement is worth the lull insurance that it gives you.  Let’s set the stage shall we….
Blind date:  Blah, blah, blah?
Morgan: Blah, blah, blah, blah…
Enter lull numero uno. If we are at dinner I have several options.  I can take a bite of food…assuming I’ve used my honed TSG skills and ordered something that I can eat without making an ace out of myself.  Or I could take a sip of coke.  I could chew my food.  I could wipe my mouth with my napkin.  And if the lull persists I can always take another bite of food.  This gives me enough ammo to make it through several lulls. 

Now let’s pick up that scene in the coffee shop…
Blind date:  Blah, blah, blah?
Morgan: Blah, blah, blah, blah…
Enter lull numero uno.  At this point I only have one option….take a sip of my coffee.  And that coffee’s only gonna last so long (remember I had to get a small cause I don’t like coffee) so you better hope this guy is feelin’ chatty.  

3.  There’s not a natural end to the date.  You could potentially sit there talking all night long….which could be good or bad.  If you’re at dinner the date is over when the meal is over.  If you want to hang out more then you go get coffee.  If not…you’re done.  With coffee you both have to sit there until someone finally gets up the nerve to say "Well, you bout ready to go?"  You can’t see inside the person’s cup so you have no idea when they’re done with their coffee and you don’t want to be a jerk and shut the date down 30 minutes after you get there.  I’m telling you there is no good way to end the coffee blind date.

In case you’re wondering there’s no point to this post.  Just thought I would share my wealth of wisdom in the area of blind dates.  Now go forth and date.   

And don’t forget to get your shoes! :)        

what the heck am I gonna blog about if I ever get a boyfriend?!  I’ve recently noticed that I blog a lot about being single…and for that I apologize.  It was done unintentionally and I will try to do better from here on out:)

Fellow TSGs I have some good news for ya…this plague we suffer from is not incurable. 

As I mentioned I’ve been dealing with this for a long time and I always felt the need to fight it.  I’ve been told to embrace it, but I’m just not willing to do that.  My approach to this fight has been to just put it out of my head.  Force myself to stop daydreaming about my life with a complete stranger.  Tell myself they are already married with 8 kids.  Tell myself they’re a weird-o or that they would think I was a weird-o.  Anything that would get that crap outta my head.  Turns out I’ve been going about this all wrong.  I’ve been fighting off lies with more lies.  And let’s be real…if I could just force myself to stop thinking about it then it wouldn’t be a plague.   

But I found the cure and I thought it was only fair to share it with the rest of you.  You ready?  Don’t erase….replace (catchy huh?  I have to admit I ganked that from a TLC song…sorta…90’s what, what!).  Instead of trying to put it out of my mind I should be replacing it with something better.  A cuter guy you ask….no, that’s not exactly what I mean. 

Let’s break it down.  I am passionate about marriage.  Not about being married, but about marriage.  That sounds weird right?  The reason I’m passionate about marriage is because it’s a picture.  It’s a picture of Christ and his bride…the church…the body of Christ…you…me.  God did not look down at marriage and think "hey, that would be a good picture of what I’m talking about."  He created marriage for that purpose.  And marriage is a temporary thing.  There will be no marriage in heaven because once we get there we’ll have the real thing and we won’t need the picture anymore.  So marriage is for this life only…and it’s main purpose is to paint a picture of the relationship that exists between Christ and His bride.  

So being obsessed…dare I say worshiping…the idea of marriage is like marveling at a ray of sunlight as it dances on the ground and never looking up to see where it’s coming from.  

One of my favorite quotes is by C.S. Lewis.  He says "…it would seem that our Lord finds our desires not too strong, but too weak.  We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at sea.  We are far too easily pleased."   

Believe me I’m not trying to infer that marriage is a mud pie…cause I still wanna a slice.  But my point, TSG’s, is that we are far too easily pleased.  We gorge ourselves on fantasies and dreams of the created thing without ever considering the Creator that they were meant to point to.

Marriage is a story…a beautiful story in which some of you get to communicate to the world how Jesus loves his bride.  But not all of us get to tell the story in that way.  We get other ways.  But that doesn’t mean that we missed the boat.  God says in his presence there is fullness of joy.  Fullness…He doesn’t say there’s a whole lot, but not as much as you would have if you were cool enough to be married…fullness…all of it.  

So the point of this long rant is to encourage my fellow TSG’s and to let you know that there is a cure for our plague.  And it’s not to train our minds not to think about guys, it’s not to ignore them, it’s not to beat ourselves to a pulp for thinking about them in the first place, it’s not to desire less…it’s to desire more.  The answer is to see the longing for a husband for what it is…just a reflection of our longing for the true Bridegroom.  

I pray this over and over throughout the day as I battle the plague.  "Satisfy me this morning (afternoon or evening) with your unfailing love that I may sing for joy and be glad all my days."  I pray to be satisfied with His love above all else.  Because it is a battle…the cure is not so much a shot in your butt as it is a round of antibiotics.  You’re gonna have to give it some time. 

So, TSGs…put down the mud pie.  Pick yourself up out of the dirt and go put on your best dress.  Cause we’ve been invited to a holiday at sea…and I sure would hate to miss that.  

All the answers to your wonderfully thought out questions.  Grab a seat…this could take a minute.  

1. On a scale of 1-10 (with 1 being not close at all, and 10 being very close), how close to the rapture are we if a #10 UGA ended up playing against a #9 Vanderbilt next week? -Christian

I’m a little late on this one because we now know that a #10 UGA will be playing a #22 Vanderbilt, but in the same spirit of this question I would say that we are at a 9 on the rapture scale if that #22 team beats us.  Or maybe that’s just a 9 on the Morgan’s-gonna-beat-Bobo-if-he-calls-the-same-fade-pass-to-the-endzone-play-again-and-we-end-up-kicking-a-field-goal scale.

2. How would a single guy know if a TSG is planning her wedding with him? -Blake

Well Blake, I’m glad you asked.  There is no way.  Ideally a TSG would keep her imaginary disease induced weddings to herself.  Unless the TSG completely loses her mind and tells Random Cute Boy what’s been going on in her head…which has been known to happen after a long and hard battle with the plague.  Contrary to the delusions caused by her plague that lead her to believe that Random Cute Boy is really in love with her too and will embrace her with joy at her confession, Random Cute Boy’s reaction will probably be to run far…far away.

Now, with that being said, there are some precautions that Random Cute Boy’s can take in order to help their TSG sisters.  For instance…don’t flirt with me if you don’t really see me like that.  Don’t give me that look, or that smile and for pete’s sake don’t raise your hands when you’re worshipping right next to me.  Ok, I guess that last one’s ok.  I realize that this seems like a lot to do, but if you really want to help this is how.  It’s kinda like how TSG’s know that RCB’s have a tendency to be horn-balls….therefore, we don’t dress like sluts (please note that there is a big difference between TSG’s and regular single girl’s…I can’t account for their wardrobe choices).  While I will never understand why a guy can’t handle seeing a girl’s cleavage…we’re aware of the problem and we do our best to prevent it. 

So now that yall are aware of the problem you can do your best to help.  Glad you asked?:)

3. What did you get your degree in?  And when are you and Rebecca opening a freakin bakery already? -Kelly

I got my degree in Telecommunications….and no that doesn’t mean I studied how to call people and harass them during supper.  It’s basically video production.  My dad wanted me to major in Business…based on how much I’ve used my degree in the past 5 years I’m starting to think he may have been onto something.  And Rebecca and I will open a freakin bakery when all my friends start paying me $500 for a cake since that’s how much I would have to charge in order to make a living doing it.  The truth is I like making cakes for my friends and part of the joy is doing it for them for cheap.  I don’t have to have a Business degree to know that isn’t a good recipe for running a business:)

4. Why are blogs called blogs? -Donna

One of my readers already answered this, but I promise I knew:)  Web Logs + Southern Person = blogs….kinda like You all + Southern Person = Yall.  See how that works?   

5. Who is your crush? And what are your kids names? -Joe

Joe don’t play around.  The crush was a guy that went to church with one of my friends…and that’s as specific as you’re gonna get from me:)  Plus the crush is gone now anyway….I don’t actually know the guy (minor detail when you have the TSG plague) and it’s kinda hard to crush on someone when you never come into contact with them.  As far as my kids names go.  I have no clue.  I’ve always loved the name Jackson, but one of my bff’s has claimed it as her own.  And as much as I talk about the plague I really do try my best not to plan out all of my children’s names…or the details of my wedding.  I don’t allow myself to look at bridal magazines.  Not that you asked about that, but there you go.

6. Your favorite vacation? -Katie

Hmmmm….I’ve been on some good vacas, but I’d have to say my favorite was going to Hawaii.  I mean it was flippin’ Hawaii!  I always thought people were exaggerating when they would talk about how awesome Hawaii was.  I mean it can’t be that great right?  Wrong.  It seriously is the most beautiful place I’ve ever seen.  I could’ve stayed there forever.  Plus I was with some of my most favorite people in the whole wide world…that makes pretty much any location awesome. 

7. What holds you back from chasing the wildest dreams God has planted in your heart?  Furthermore, what are they? -Rebecca

Goodness, this is a tough one.  I think the number one reason for not chasing my dreams is fear.  Fear of a million different things.  It paralyzes me.

What are those dreams…this is a hard one too.  I don’t have…or if I do I don’t know it…one particular calling in my life that outweighs everything else.  I’ve always been one of those people who is ok at a lot of things, but not great at anything.  One of those people who doesn’t really know what the heck they’re supposed to be doing with their life.  However, there are some things in my heart that I wish I had the gonads to do.  Number one on that list would be frontier missions.  That’s really just a fancy word for doing mission work among people who have never heard about Jesus.  I would love to go and live with an unreached people group and just do life there along side them. 

Number two on that list would be to work in an orphanage or start one or adopt 50 million kids.  You want an abortion?  You don’t want your baby?  Give ‘em to me.  With no judgment or commentary on your choice…I just want those babies. 

I don’t necessarily think I would be good at either of those things…they’re just in my heart.  Mostly I just don’t want to waste my life on myself.

So there you go.  Thanks everyone for your questions….and for helping me have something to blog about:)

peace out.

Alert:  non-TSG’s need not proceed.  Don’t get me wrong…married folks are more than welcome here.  I just thought I should give yall a heads up that you might not understand where I’m comin’ from on this one.  And since I only have a couple other TSG friends I can sense this is going to be a popular post:)  

I don’t want to write this post.  I’ve almost done it several times and then stopped.  Why?  Cause it’s embarrassing.  Although, I rarely hold back on this blog the following information is a little more than I care to share.  BUT…since I know you all are dying to know every little thing that goes through my head I dare not deprive you of this one. 

There’s a funny thing about being a TSG…not only are you the TSG, but you have a disease.  No, I’m not talking about the third arm growing out of my head.  I’m talking about something I call The Plague.

Let me paint a picture for you.  TSG is in the store minding her own business.  Random cute guy walks past her.  TSG is now planning her wedding to random cute guy. 

Here’s another one for ya…TSG is sitting in church waiting to worship God.  Cute guy she has never met before walks in the door.  Song starts and cute guy really starts worshipping.  Then he raises his hands.  Good grief…its over.  Stick a fork in TSG.  She’s already named their first five kids.

I cannot tell you how annoying it is to just want to pay attention to whatever it is that you’re doing only to have your mind highjacked by some "unknown force" that throws you head first into a future with someone who for all you know could be an axe-murderer.  And the "unknown force" knows exactly how to get you too.  Random cute boy will smile at you, or your friend knows random cute boy and tells you that yall would be perfect together, or better yet you have to hold hands to pray and guess who ends up standing right next to you?  Friggin random cute boy…uhhh!

No matter how hard I fight it the plague continues to haunt me…and even though it’s really embarrassing to admit that I’ve been proposed to about 50 different times in my head I knew I had to share.  Because here at the Institute for TSG Advancement we believe that the Truth will set us free.  There could be a TSG around you right now suffering from this very same plague.  The Institute is also committed to research until we find a cure.  Cash donations to help support our cause are gladly accepted:)

Ok, I’m nuts:)  I can’t imagine why I’m still a TSG:) 

Not the temperature, obviously…it’s 80 degrees outside, but it’s still starting to feel like fall to me.  Maybe it’s because football started last weekend.  Or maybe it’s because I randomly got the urge to wear my tennis shoes instead of my flip flops yesterday.  Or maybe it’s because it’s getting dark closer to 8 instead of closer to 9.  I’m ok with that, though, because I LOVE the fall.  Always have.

At this point in my life fall is pretty much like every other season of the year…I still go to work everyday…I still go home…same ol’, same ol’.  But fall used to be something exciting….something new.  It was the start of a new school year which inevitably lead to a new crush…which hopefully lead to a new boyfriend…which lead to a boy/girl ferris wheel ride at the fair and lots of pretending to be scared in the haunted house so you had an excuse to hold hands.  Which then lead to starring at said boy for the entire football game while you tried to cheer.  Which then lead to dressing up as something pretty for Halloween when all you really wanted to do was put blood and fake skin all over your face.  Which then lead to…well you get the point.  It was all very exciting. 

So in honor of fall I’ve decided to get myself a crush.  Now, I realize that 27 year old crushes are pretty lame compared to 17 year old crushes, but I don’t care.  It’s fall dadgum it and I want a crush.  So I’ve got one…maybe if I’m lucky he’ll buy me a corndog at the fair:) 

Easy Mac in a cup for dinner.  I can’t figure out if I’m 5 or just a TSG who lives by herself.  Either way it was delicious!

Not all dates as a TSG are bad…let me tell you about the best one ever. 

I had just started dating this guy and we were still in the get to know you phase.  One of the ways that he got to know me was to ask me where I would go if I could go anywhere in the world.  To which I responded, "Egypt" (I think it would be amazing to see the pyramids).  It’s important to note that we had this conversation on our first date.  

Now, cut to about three weeks later.  Said boy picks me up at my house, but won’t tell me where we’re going (guys: girls love that crap).  Eventually I realize that we’re headed into Atlanta, but that doesn’t really narrow down the possibilities.  Then we pull onto the Emory campus and I’m thinking "are we gonna take a philosophy class or something".  We walk across campus and come to a building and he says, "This is it".  I read on the outside of the building that it’s a museum.  Ok, that’s cool…something different.  When we walk in he tells me that this museum happens to have the largest collection of Egyptian artifacts in the country.  Then he says, "I couldn’t get you all the way to Egypt, but I thought this was the next best thing."  My heart melted!  Not only had he remembered some miniscule comment that I had made three weeks ago, he also tried to make one of my wishes come true!  How sweet is that?!  After we spent hours walking around looking at all the cool stuff there he took me out to eat for a really nice dinner.  It was the perfect date!   

Don’t ask me why I stopped dating that guy.       

As the TSG (token single girl), I am well acquainted with blind-dates….more so than I care to be:)  I still clearly remember the evening that it all began.  Of course this was long before I gained TSG status and I had no way of knowing how prophetic that night would be in my life.

It was early high school…freshman or sophomore…I can’t remember…and again BFF was involved.  She had been dating this one guy for a while.  He was nice and he could drive.  Well it just so happened that he had a friend that was coming into town from…somewhere else…I don’t remember where.  They casually mentioned that it would be fun for us to all double date that night and I agreed without giving the matter much thought.  I mean how bad could it be right?  Right.

That night BFF, her BF and Blind Date picked me up at my house.  We went through the introductions and then went merrily on our way to the movies.  Things were going well.  He seemed nice enough and he was pretty cute…so far, so good.  We all settled into our seats in the theatre and the movie began.  I was sitting in-between BFF and the Blind Date.  Then it started.  About 30 minutes into the movie Blind Date decides he wants to chat it up.  Now, I realize that not everyone knows this about me, but I HATE it when people talk during a movie.  What about that situation makes you think it’s a good time to strike up a convo?  So Blind Date is blabbing away and I’m just smiling and nodding praying that he would shut-up before I was forced to punch him in the face and make him shut-up.

Then the conversation took a turn.  Blind Date starts talking about how pretty he thinks I am, how nice I am and so on and so forth.  All the time I’m just thinking "Would you please stop talking so I can watch the dad-blame movie?!"  Then Blind Date leans over so that his mouth is almost touching my ear.

"Can I kiss you?"  He whispers.

"What?!"  I reply in utter shock.

"Can I kiss you?"  He asks again.

"No."  I say never once turning away from the movie.

"But I love you!"  He pleads. 

"You don’t even know me!"

"That doesn’t matter…I love you!"

"Well I don’t love you!"

If I had known how fast that would shut him up I would’ve said it a long time ago.  Needless to say, things didn’t work out between us.  

Looking back I kinda feel bad for the guy.  I guess someone somewhere along the line told the poor fool that telling a girl you love her is a sure fire way to get her to do what you want her to do.  Bless his little hormonal teenage boy heart.  He just didn’t know any better.        

I know yall are dying to know more about what I’m looking for so here it is:)

He has to be able to carry me.  See I need to know that if there’s a fire in our house and I’m passed out from smoke inhalation that he’ll be able to carry my butt to safety.  And I realize that most guys can probably carry most girls, but I swear I’ve been set up with guys before that I could crush.  Plus I don’t want to feel like a fat a for the rest of my life with my tiny husband.

He has to put my coat on for me.  I realize that I’m perfectly capable of putting my own coat on and I have no problem doing so, but it’s just so sweet when a guy helps you.  There are a ton of chivalrous things that I hope my man does but the coat assistance stands out to me.  We always hear about the door open, but you rarely see the coat assistance.  And I love me some coats…even though I live in Georgia and it rarely gets cold enough for a coat…even in winter. 

He has to be handy.  I have the supreme privilege of having the most handy man in the world for a dad.  So admittedly "man" has big shoes to fill.  He doesn’t have to be this guy, but I need someone who can take care of business when the occasion calls for it.  I mean if we break down on the side of the road and all we have is a stick of gum and a bag of doritos he should be able to get the car running again right?:)

Athletic.  I hate to even bring this one up cause I know that sports aren’t everyone’s thing, but I think it might be a necessity for me.  "Man" doesn’t have to be good at sports….he doesn’t even have to still play any sports…but previous participation is a big plus.  I’m partial to football, but other sports will do.  As long as I don’t have to explain to you what’s going on in the game we’ll be good.

ok, that should do for now:)

I’ve decided that I like boys with accents…like foreign accents….well I like southern accents too…not too southern….not like redneck southern….like way down south southern. 

I have a short list of things I want in a guy…maybe I’ll start sharing those with you:)  Then you can send any eligible applicants my way.  Did I really just say that?  ok, I’m done now.  

"Singleness is about adventure, self-esteem and growing-up. And it’s about you owning your soul, until it’s time to give it away to the one who gives it back to you, with theirs. Here’s my word of wisdom from the other side of singleness: It’s who you are when you’re single that sets the course for who you’ll be for the rest of your life. Be whole, and yes, holy-don’t give yourself away. You’ll miss the pieces you let go."

Ok, some stranger just kicked me right square in my backside!  I spend so much time trying to cover up the fact that I’m single.  Not because it bothers me, but because I’m afraid of what other people will think….wait…I think that means it bothers me:)  I think mostly I’m just embrrassed.  I mean I know God has a plan for me and part of that plan is singleness right now….but is that what other people see when they look at me?  Or do they see a poor little girl who needs to be set-up because she clearly has no game:)

UHHHHHH!  Why do I waste my time worrying about that?!  Our lives are so fleeting…so short.  And this is the way God has planned mine out.  And He is good…always…so I know this plan is good…the best plan possible for me!  Why don’t I take more advantage of the freedom I have in singleness? 

I’m feeling an exit strategy coming on:)  Might be time to vacate fun-roe and go…somewhere…anywhere.

Africa to work in an orphanage?

Atlanta to work in a bakery?

Athens to help some friends?

Middle of nowhere to tell some peeps about Jesus who’ve never heard about him?

I’m game Lord….let’s go!

Ok, married people!  Time for you to chime in.  What’s the one thing you wish you would’ve done while you were still single?  I need some inspiration!

I got my man (care of KQ).  He’s been with me for 2 v-days now.  He sits quietly on my refrigerator and since I can’t really decide what my type is he has several different versions of himself:)

I got my flowers (care of the rents)…so pretty!

and I got my cookies (care of my mom)…I’m choosing to ignore the fact that the bag says hefty on it.

I’m all set…what more could a girl ask for:)  Hope yall have a Happy Valentine’s Day too!

The girl that I work with got a link to an article from her mom about 10 things that all singles should do.  Enjoy.

1.  Travel alone.  Why so I can hang out with myself at the beach…I can do that at home for a whole lot cheaper.

2.  Wallow in the ache of a broken heart.  Great advice…wallowing in heart ache always makes me feel better.  

3.  Spend a weekend with a married couple your age.  Check!  Story of my life.  If this is supposed to make you a better person or something then I should be friggin awesome:)   

4.  Don’t come home all night.  I’m not sure what this is inferring, but I’m definitely not cool enough to actually be doing something all night long.  I mean I spend the night with my friends sometimes…but I think I go to bed at their house just as early as I would at mine.

5.  Stand up for a cause you care about.  Only single people are allowed to do this so back-off! 

6.  Have a real adventure.  Being single IS an adventure. 

7.  Learn how to take care of yourself.  I think I’ve got this one covered, although, I will always call my mommy and daddy for help on some stuff!   

8.  Buy something hugely impractical just because you love it.  Another good idea…you’re single and, therefore, have one income…go blow your money on something just to make yourself feel better…words to live by.   

9.  Develop a hobby.  like blogging?

10. Be completely, utterly, wholly single for at least 3 months.  Well I think we all know I have this part more than taken care of:)   

I need to write my own advice column! 

Kristy told me to hurry up and post a new blog so here you go KQ. 

Friday night me and one of the two other single people I know went to go see 27 dresses.  You know the movie about the girl who has been a bridesmaid 27 times?  Needless to say that’s pretty much been the story of both of our lives:)  The movie was so good.  Very funny and very cute.  My favorite part was when one of the brides told her that the great part about her bridesmaid dress was that she could cut it off and wear it again.  Quality!  I’ve been in about 8 weddings…I think…I can’t really remember…and I’ve heard a version of that line each and every time.  I love every one of you girls with all my heart….but seriously…I’m never wearing those dresses again.  My fav version of that line was spoken by a bride that will go unnamed…you know who you are:)  She tried to convince all of us that we could wear the top part of our two piece dress with jeans and a blazer.  I don’t know who told her that but in the words of a famous Mikeism "you can peddle them lollypops somewhere else…cause I aint buyin’".  I don’t wear blazers.    

ok, I wasn’t going to write about this because if anyone who was a part of the situation ever read this it would only compound the embarrassment…but then I thought what the hey…this blog is already embarrassing enough so I might as well share:)

A certain grown-up friend of mine…wait I’m a grown-up…she’s a mom…of a teenager…but she’s my friend…ANYWAY, her family has made it their goal in life to marry me off.  Seriously, I should be paying these people.  She pimps me out like I’m going outta style…which I kinda am…but thats beside the point.  So every time I spend time with her she has some new boy that she thinks would be perfect for me.  I don’t mind.  I love her and I appreciate the help…obviously I aint gettin’ this done on my own:) 

She has been mentioning one particular boy for years…literally!  Last night when I went over to her house she brought up this same boy again.  I pointed out the fact that it had been two years since she first started trying to set me up with this guy.  She didn’t believe me at first, but once I convinced her I was telling the truth she insisted on calling him…right then…with me sitting right next to her!  If you know me in the slightest bit you know that I am pretty easily embarrassed.  I’m not super out-going around people that I don’t know and I have no game…you might want to keep that in mind for the rest of this story.

While she was on the phone with him she chit chatted and asked him where he was and ended up setting up a date for us to all go out…which ps I’ll believe when I see.  Next thing I know she hangs up the phone and says "let’s go see him!" say what?!  Ummm, no thank you.  I prefer not to look like a psycho stalker the first time I meet someone.  My protesting didn’t have much of an effect on her…before I know what hit me I’m walking into the high school where he is watching a basketball game…awesome…this won’t be weird at all.

We’re just about to walk into the gym when we both about get taken out by someone walking really fast out of the doors.  Guess who that someone is?!  That’s right…the very man we came to stalk!  She hugs him and says "this is the girl I’m setting you up with".  Seriously could this BE anymore awkward?!

He was on his way so we all talked for a couple minutes on the way out to his car.  I have no clue what was said cause I’m pretty sure I just went into the smile and nod survival mode and therefore I don’t remember the words that came out of my mouth…hopefully nothing too stupid.  All I know is that my face was bright red the whole time.  Have I mentioned that I love being single lately:)