I’ve told yall my story before, but here it is again…in a different way.
Wandering in the dark
wondering who cared
cowering in the corner
a child scared.
So I put on my mask
played the part
a perfect cheerleader
with a hidden and bleeding heart.
Blind but not knowing
cause I’d never seen
dead but not caring
cause I’d never breathed.
Drink it down
smoke it up
trying
just to be cool enough.
Dating this boy and that boy
on down the line
giving away pieces
of something that wasn’t mine.
Don’t get me wrong
it was all great fun
but at the end of the day
I just wanted life to be done.
And then it was
not for me but for her
and something
inside of me started to stir.
Slowly
but all at once
in an instant
but taking months.
A light broke through
I could see
first his perfection
then my need.
Compared to him
I was so unclean
what made me think
I could stand before a king?
So I knelt before him
even that not from me
then he did something
interesting.
He stepped down from his throne
put his robe on my back
instantly filling up
everything I lacked.
Amazing grace
that I can’t put into words
something I’d been told
yet never heard.
From that point on
things were different
not easier
but now I was confident.
I knew what I was here for
knew who’s I was
I knew he loved me
cause his word says he does.
I love to think about that time
so many years ago
and when the darkness tries to sneak back in
this I know
I was chosen
before the foundation of the earth
and neither my works nor my sanity
give me my worth.
The king gives me my worth
the one from back then
and he’ll always be
cause he’s always been.