schMORGANsborg

This day about 24 years ago.  

We’ve come a long way haven’t we?

Maybe not.

Happy Halloween!  Hope yall have a fun one!

never  a bride:) 

touch my ice cream bowl!

Today’s flashback has been brought to you courtesy of Mike & Darlene’s Box O’ Photos.  There will be several more throughout the day…so check back.  I can feel your excitement from here.  

My brother (who I call brother…creative I know) is seven years older than I am.  Which meant that pretty much anytime I wanted to play with him (which was always) he was trying to get rid of me.  I mean you can’t blame him.  What cool 10 year old wants his 3 year old little sister following him around.  And I did, indeed, follow him around.  I thought (and still do) he was the coolest person in the world.  He taught me how to tight roll my jeans.  I will forever be indebted to him for that.

When he wasn’t passing on his jean wearing wisdom to me he was usually picking on me.  It’s what brothers do.  His favorite mode of torture was to steel my baby doll from me and do mean things to it…like throw it into the ceiling fan.  I will never forget the look on her face as she went flying out of the fan and across the room.  Ok, the look on her face never actually changed, but I could tell she was scared! 

However, in the midst of all that, I learned one very important lesson.  Brother was allowed to pick on me….NO ONE else was.  If anyone else ever gave me any crap he was the first one to defend me.  And being a rather large guy, that was pretty handy to have around. 

Case in point.  One day while I was getting off the school bus some kid elbowed me in the mouth.  Before you get upset I must say that years later after a little reflection I realized that it was probably an accident.  But the kid was a punk anyway so I don’t feel bad for what happened to him.  First thing I did was run to the house so I could tell my brother what that punk kid down the street did to his precious little sister.  I never said I wasn’t a tattletale.  After I related the trauma that had just befallen me my brother looked at me and said "Wait here". 

So I waited as I watched him walk off toward the elbower’s house.  I wasn’t real sure what he would do and for a minute I was scared that I had just been the cause of that kid’s death.  A little while later I saw two figures walking toward me.  As they came closer I realized that it was my brother and the accused elbower.  When they finally got to where I was standing my brother told him to get down on his knees and kiss the ground where I was standing.  Then he made him say he was sorry.  I just stood there in shock.

At that exact moment I realized that my brother would have my back no matter what…no questions asked.  That and the fact that he was very creative in his revenge tactics.  I guess we all have our talents.     

Time to catch up on tags.  I got tagged to share 7 random facts…twice and I also got tagged to share 5 quirks.  Since I’ve given you every random piece of information about myself that I can think of I thought I’d switch it up a little.  In celebration of Halloween…my favorite holiday…we’re gonna talk scary movies.    

As soon as I moved into a house by myself I created a strict no scary movie policy.  Simply because if I get scared then I’m S.O.L. with no one to go crawl into bed with.  This past Saturday I broke my own rule.  I watched The Exorcism of Emily Rose.  Let’s just say I was fully reminded of why I made that rule in the first place.  

So to further torture myself I’m going to list my 10 most scariest movies eva!  That counts as random facts and quirks right?

10.  The Neverending Story-I know that probably sounds like a weird one, but this movie used to scare the crap outta me.  I mean one look at that dog….uhhh!  Plus we would watch this movie EVERY year at my cousin’s birthday party.  It was awful.  Seriously…I think I sustained long-term damage from it.

9.  Children of the Corn-I have a distinct memory of watching this movie with Tanaya in her room as we cowered under the covers.  To this day the name Malachai freaks me out.

8.  The Blair Witch Project-I know I’m gonna catch crap about this movie, but you have to understand that I went to go see this right when it came out.  And for about a week after seeing it I still thought that it was a real documentary.  Plus my house was in the middle of the woods!  I was sure that friggin witch was going to come running out of the woods and right through my bedroom window.

7.  The Lost Boys-I recently saw this movie again on TBS…not nearly as scary as I remembered it.  But it still makes the list because at the time it terrified me.  My parents were at a concert and my brother and my cousin were watching me for the night.  They decided they wanted to watch this movie.  I decided that I would rather go play dolls.  They decided it would be cool to force me to stay in there and watch it with them.  I decided that all Chinese food I ate after that night was going to turn into worms and maggots.  That pretty much sums it up.

6.  Poltergeist-Do I even have to explain this one?  That old man still sends chills up my spine.  And I’m sorry, but the little short lady creeped me out too.

5.  Nightmare on Elm Street-I’ve already discussed the horror that this movie caused me.  Changed the way I showered for the majority of my life.

4.  The Ring-I went to go see this one in the theatre and I literally sat with my feet up in my chair half the time…and with my eyes covered the other half.  

3.  The Exorcist-This movie is just plain scary.  Scary spiritual movies are in a creep category all their own. 

2.  The Shinning-I can barely even think about this movie without wanting to call my mom to come sleep with me.  The twins.  The old lady in the bath tub.  Jack Nicholson.  I can’t handle it. 

1.  Frailty-This is the all time most scariest movie that I have ever seen!  You know why?  Cause it’s not some boogie man chasing people around.  While that can be pretty scary it’s not very realistic.  Frailty is very realistic to me.  I could see it happening in real life.  I first watched this movie when I was a senior in college and I had the entire basement of our duplex all to myself.  It was very dark down there.  And you better believe that at about 1 in the morning I walked my 21 year old butt up to my roommate’s room and pushed her over so I didn’t have to sleep downstairs by myself.

Honorable Mention goes to American Werewolf in London.  This movie is semi-scary and actually pretty funny.  But even 20 something years later it has the best Werewolf of any movie I’ve seen.  

There you have it.  The movies that scare the ever-lovin’ daylights outta me.  Now I have to go call my mommy.  

Your turn…what’s the scariest movie you’ve ever seen?   

I would never divulge a woman’s age, but in this case it’s unavoidable:)  McCall has been bustin’ her butt for the past month (probably longer) planning a surprise 50th birthday party for her mom.  I had the privilege of making the cake.

McCall wanted to incorporate different things that her mom likes to do.  For instance…spending time with her granddaughter and getting ready for the new baby that’s on the way!

And working in her garden.

And loving on her dogs.

Happy Birthday Lisa!  Hope you had an awesome one!  You don’t look a day over 30!

P.S. I have to give mad props to this lady.  She is everything I wish I was in a cake maker.  I get a ton of ideas from her cakes and then do my best to pull off what she does with excellence.  I sent McCall to her site when we started talking about what kind of cake she wanted.  So the cake I made is pretty much a mix and match of several different cakes that she has made.  If you ever move to New Jersey I would highly recommend you go get a cake from her.  Her stuff is awesome!     

Everybody cut footloose!  That’s right…I was the girl from Footloose.  Now brace yourselves cause my costume was amazing.  Can’t you see the resemblance? 

No one knew who I was.  As a matter of fact most people thought that I wasn’t dressed up.  Which I must say I take issue with…I don’t normally wear a jean jacket and cowboy boots, but whatever.

As you can see my brother and his wife were vampires.  He told me not to put him on the internet…cause in real life he’s not a vampire…he’s in the Mafia.  

Brett and Tonya came too…they were John McCain and Sarah Palin.   

The guy dressed up like a Hooters girl won the best costume contest.  I didn’t take any pictures of him.  You’re welcome. 

That’s right folks!  I’ve got another treat for you from the days of ol.  Today’s flashback is two-fold.  Not only is this a quality song from the 80’s, but it’s also a totally awesome show from the 80’s.  I seriously used to love both of these things.

Bonus Question: I’m going to a costume party this weekend.  This song is directly related to what I’m dressing up as.  Any guesses?

This has nothing to do with me being single…I promise. 

Lately I’ve come to the conclusion that my idea of romance is vastly different from what the common perception of it is.  I’ll give you some examples.

1.  Romeo and Juliet.  Did you read the whole story people?!  Things do not turn out well for them.  And a guy who is madly in love with another girl in the first scene of the story and then offs himself over a entirely different girl is not my idea of romance.  That’s just plain crazy.  And ps the entire balcony scene is pretty much him just trying to get her in the sack…again…not romantic.

2.  The movie The Notebook.  I know, I know…everyone loves this movie.  And I must confess that I myself own the movie.  But I don’t think it’s romantic.  At least it’s nothing that I would ever want to happen in my own life.  It all starts off nice, but then she bails on her fiances and gets to "know" another guy while wearing said finaces engagement ring….aww…that is so sweet.  No, thank you.

3.  Another jewel from Nickolas Sparks…the book True Believer.  I picked this up in the airport on our way back from Hawaii…I had brought a couple books, but they were all too deep to read on a long as crap flight.  I needed something mindless.  (ps…if you don’t want to know how this book turns out then stop reading now)  I read all the way through this book thinking it was a pretty decent love story and then they do it (excuse my 5th grade vocabulary).  Well that was disappointing, but not really surprising.  Then the climax (of the book)…the kicker….the big finish…you ready for this?  She tells him she’s pregnant with his child.  Are you kidding me?  "Surprise I’m knocked up"…that’s supposed to be romantic? 

Maybe I’m a cold hearted snake, but I don’t find any of those things to be the least bit romantic.  

I’m just sayin’.      

I’m not a morning person.  Anyone who has lived with me can attest to that.  Amanda used to think I was mad at her every morning when we lived together.  I tried to explain to her that that was just my normal sunny disposition shinning through and that it had nothing to do with her.  

With that being said I’ve always done my personal bible study at any time during the day, BUT morning.  I did afternoons when I was in college cause I was in college and I had jack crap else to do…besides take naps.  Oh how I miss those days.  Now that I have to work for a living I do my bible study at night.  This generally works well for me, but of course evenings can get busy and that will easily lead to no study time.  Recently I’ve wanted to become a morning bible studier.  I want to fill myself up with the Word before I go out and face the day.  The only problem is that I can’t seem to make myself wake up early and do it.

So here’s my question…does anyone have any pointers for how I can get my lazy butt outta bed in the morning?  When do yall do your bible studies?  Or could you care less about studying the bible:)?  Ok, that’s more like three questions.  

Help a sista out here!   

what the heck am I gonna blog about if I ever get a boyfriend?!  I’ve recently noticed that I blog a lot about being single…and for that I apologize.  It was done unintentionally and I will try to do better from here on out:)

Fellow TSGs I have some good news for ya…this plague we suffer from is not incurable. 

As I mentioned I’ve been dealing with this for a long time and I always felt the need to fight it.  I’ve been told to embrace it, but I’m just not willing to do that.  My approach to this fight has been to just put it out of my head.  Force myself to stop daydreaming about my life with a complete stranger.  Tell myself they are already married with 8 kids.  Tell myself they’re a weird-o or that they would think I was a weird-o.  Anything that would get that crap outta my head.  Turns out I’ve been going about this all wrong.  I’ve been fighting off lies with more lies.  And let’s be real…if I could just force myself to stop thinking about it then it wouldn’t be a plague.   

But I found the cure and I thought it was only fair to share it with the rest of you.  You ready?  Don’t erase….replace (catchy huh?  I have to admit I ganked that from a TLC song…sorta…90’s what, what!).  Instead of trying to put it out of my mind I should be replacing it with something better.  A cuter guy you ask….no, that’s not exactly what I mean. 

Let’s break it down.  I am passionate about marriage.  Not about being married, but about marriage.  That sounds weird right?  The reason I’m passionate about marriage is because it’s a picture.  It’s a picture of Christ and his bride…the church…the body of Christ…you…me.  God did not look down at marriage and think "hey, that would be a good picture of what I’m talking about."  He created marriage for that purpose.  And marriage is a temporary thing.  There will be no marriage in heaven because once we get there we’ll have the real thing and we won’t need the picture anymore.  So marriage is for this life only…and it’s main purpose is to paint a picture of the relationship that exists between Christ and His bride.  

So being obsessed…dare I say worshiping…the idea of marriage is like marveling at a ray of sunlight as it dances on the ground and never looking up to see where it’s coming from.  

One of my favorite quotes is by C.S. Lewis.  He says "…it would seem that our Lord finds our desires not too strong, but too weak.  We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at sea.  We are far too easily pleased."   

Believe me I’m not trying to infer that marriage is a mud pie…cause I still wanna a slice.  But my point, TSG’s, is that we are far too easily pleased.  We gorge ourselves on fantasies and dreams of the created thing without ever considering the Creator that they were meant to point to.

Marriage is a story…a beautiful story in which some of you get to communicate to the world how Jesus loves his bride.  But not all of us get to tell the story in that way.  We get other ways.  But that doesn’t mean that we missed the boat.  God says in his presence there is fullness of joy.  Fullness…He doesn’t say there’s a whole lot, but not as much as you would have if you were cool enough to be married…fullness…all of it.  

So the point of this long rant is to encourage my fellow TSG’s and to let you know that there is a cure for our plague.  And it’s not to train our minds not to think about guys, it’s not to ignore them, it’s not to beat ourselves to a pulp for thinking about them in the first place, it’s not to desire less…it’s to desire more.  The answer is to see the longing for a husband for what it is…just a reflection of our longing for the true Bridegroom.  

I pray this over and over throughout the day as I battle the plague.  "Satisfy me this morning (afternoon or evening) with your unfailing love that I may sing for joy and be glad all my days."  I pray to be satisfied with His love above all else.  Because it is a battle…the cure is not so much a shot in your butt as it is a round of antibiotics.  You’re gonna have to give it some time. 

So, TSGs…put down the mud pie.  Pick yourself up out of the dirt and go put on your best dress.  Cause we’ve been invited to a holiday at sea…and I sure would hate to miss that.  

For some bizarre reason I had to make up a little dance for PE class when I was in elementary school.  And for some even more bizarre reason I chose this song.  Can’t you just picture little 5th grade Morgan dancing around the gym to this song.  I may have just taken my lameness to a whole new level.  Happy Friday!

I know that was probably everyone’s response to my blog yesterday…I guess you had to be there. 

Well today that is my response.  McCall tagged me, but I’m not sure I get the rules.  Choose the 6th picture from your 6th album and talk about it….I don’t have albums.  So I just randomly chose this pic.

I figured this was seasonally appropriate…and somewhat embarrassing…and that’s always a good combo.

This was Halloween a couple years ago.  I was an 80’s rockstar.  We were at Katie and Chris’ Halloween party. 

That’s all I got.  

I just spent the better part of the morning thinking I was Nancy Drew.  It all started when I went to this website.  Then I saw an article by Rob Bell….score…I’m a fan. 

Side note:  I actually clicked on it cause I thought it said "Rob Bell on Saving Christmas" and I had just been thinking about how I didn’t want to waste Christmas.  But then I realized it didn’t say Christmas…it said Christians.  If I had a dollar for every time I did that… 

Anyway, so I read the article and noticed something interesting.  Every so often a letter was in bold.  At first I thought it was a type-o, but then I thought "hmmm…maybe it’s a secret message!"  I’m not sure what it says about me that I thought that, but guess what?!  I was right!  It WAS a secret message!  The message said "email rob at nooma dot com".  So I did.  Then I got a response that was just railing on this group called the Citizens of Virtue.  Then the email said that there were 7 people inside this group that were trying to get out.  Rob said he couldn’t help them because he was afraid more harm would come to them!  Then he said if I went to his book’s website there would be more info on how to help them.  Ok, I’ll bite.  So I went to the website.  Then I clicked on the link that said "help the seven".  Nothing.  Just some page with boxes on it.  What the heck is going on here?!  So being Nancy Drew I googled Citizens of Virtue and found their website.  After a lot of reading I came to the conclusion that these people were wack-o’s!  But I still didn’t understand why Rob Bell was making it his job to speak out against these people.  That’s when I decided to enlist some help.  I went and told McCall all that I had found.  I think she thought I was crazy.  So I told her to go to the site and within five seconds she figured out that it wasn’t real.  It’s all just made up!  Can you believe that?!  I got hoodwinked!  (ps what does that word even mean?) 

The Citizens of Virtue are not a real group, but the people behind this new book have done an amazing job at creating an alternate world….and of making me want to read the book.  Well done marketing people…well done.  Mike always said I was sharp as a marble. 

So the moral of the story is Rob Bell has a new book coming out called Jesus Wants to Save Christians and he wants you to read it.  That and I’m a marble.

I’ll let you refer to Katie and Chris’ blog for the rundown, but I just wanted to point out one thing.  The massive stem on this cake isn’t just a massive stem…it’s a number one…cause she was turning one…get it?

All the answers to your wonderfully thought out questions.  Grab a seat…this could take a minute.  

1. On a scale of 1-10 (with 1 being not close at all, and 10 being very close), how close to the rapture are we if a #10 UGA ended up playing against a #9 Vanderbilt next week? -Christian

I’m a little late on this one because we now know that a #10 UGA will be playing a #22 Vanderbilt, but in the same spirit of this question I would say that we are at a 9 on the rapture scale if that #22 team beats us.  Or maybe that’s just a 9 on the Morgan’s-gonna-beat-Bobo-if-he-calls-the-same-fade-pass-to-the-endzone-play-again-and-we-end-up-kicking-a-field-goal scale.

2. How would a single guy know if a TSG is planning her wedding with him? -Blake

Well Blake, I’m glad you asked.  There is no way.  Ideally a TSG would keep her imaginary disease induced weddings to herself.  Unless the TSG completely loses her mind and tells Random Cute Boy what’s been going on in her head…which has been known to happen after a long and hard battle with the plague.  Contrary to the delusions caused by her plague that lead her to believe that Random Cute Boy is really in love with her too and will embrace her with joy at her confession, Random Cute Boy’s reaction will probably be to run far…far away.

Now, with that being said, there are some precautions that Random Cute Boy’s can take in order to help their TSG sisters.  For instance…don’t flirt with me if you don’t really see me like that.  Don’t give me that look, or that smile and for pete’s sake don’t raise your hands when you’re worshipping right next to me.  Ok, I guess that last one’s ok.  I realize that this seems like a lot to do, but if you really want to help this is how.  It’s kinda like how TSG’s know that RCB’s have a tendency to be horn-balls….therefore, we don’t dress like sluts (please note that there is a big difference between TSG’s and regular single girl’s…I can’t account for their wardrobe choices).  While I will never understand why a guy can’t handle seeing a girl’s cleavage…we’re aware of the problem and we do our best to prevent it. 

So now that yall are aware of the problem you can do your best to help.  Glad you asked?:)

3. What did you get your degree in?  And when are you and Rebecca opening a freakin bakery already? -Kelly

I got my degree in Telecommunications….and no that doesn’t mean I studied how to call people and harass them during supper.  It’s basically video production.  My dad wanted me to major in Business…based on how much I’ve used my degree in the past 5 years I’m starting to think he may have been onto something.  And Rebecca and I will open a freakin bakery when all my friends start paying me $500 for a cake since that’s how much I would have to charge in order to make a living doing it.  The truth is I like making cakes for my friends and part of the joy is doing it for them for cheap.  I don’t have to have a Business degree to know that isn’t a good recipe for running a business:)

4. Why are blogs called blogs? -Donna

One of my readers already answered this, but I promise I knew:)  Web Logs + Southern Person = blogs….kinda like You all + Southern Person = Yall.  See how that works?   

5. Who is your crush? And what are your kids names? -Joe

Joe don’t play around.  The crush was a guy that went to church with one of my friends…and that’s as specific as you’re gonna get from me:)  Plus the crush is gone now anyway….I don’t actually know the guy (minor detail when you have the TSG plague) and it’s kinda hard to crush on someone when you never come into contact with them.  As far as my kids names go.  I have no clue.  I’ve always loved the name Jackson, but one of my bff’s has claimed it as her own.  And as much as I talk about the plague I really do try my best not to plan out all of my children’s names…or the details of my wedding.  I don’t allow myself to look at bridal magazines.  Not that you asked about that, but there you go.

6. Your favorite vacation? -Katie

Hmmmm….I’ve been on some good vacas, but I’d have to say my favorite was going to Hawaii.  I mean it was flippin’ Hawaii!  I always thought people were exaggerating when they would talk about how awesome Hawaii was.  I mean it can’t be that great right?  Wrong.  It seriously is the most beautiful place I’ve ever seen.  I could’ve stayed there forever.  Plus I was with some of my most favorite people in the whole wide world…that makes pretty much any location awesome. 

7. What holds you back from chasing the wildest dreams God has planted in your heart?  Furthermore, what are they? -Rebecca

Goodness, this is a tough one.  I think the number one reason for not chasing my dreams is fear.  Fear of a million different things.  It paralyzes me.

What are those dreams…this is a hard one too.  I don’t have…or if I do I don’t know it…one particular calling in my life that outweighs everything else.  I’ve always been one of those people who is ok at a lot of things, but not great at anything.  One of those people who doesn’t really know what the heck they’re supposed to be doing with their life.  However, there are some things in my heart that I wish I had the gonads to do.  Number one on that list would be frontier missions.  That’s really just a fancy word for doing mission work among people who have never heard about Jesus.  I would love to go and live with an unreached people group and just do life there along side them. 

Number two on that list would be to work in an orphanage or start one or adopt 50 million kids.  You want an abortion?  You don’t want your baby?  Give ‘em to me.  With no judgment or commentary on your choice…I just want those babies. 

I don’t necessarily think I would be good at either of those things…they’re just in my heart.  Mostly I just don’t want to waste my life on myself.

So there you go.  Thanks everyone for your questions….and for helping me have something to blog about:)

peace out.

And the winner is….Jennifer Hill Watson!  Yay!  I cheered with Jennifer in high school and now she lives in Texas and is married with a cute as pie little boy.  Congrats Jennifer!

Thanks everyone for playing…and for reading.  If I ever hit the lottery I promise I’ll do giveaways all the time:)

Love yall!

(answers to all your burning questions coming soon…I promise)  

Happy birthday to you.  Happy birthday to you.  Happy birthday dear schMORGANsborg…happy birthday to you!

Yay!  Today is the big day!  Well big if you think a blog being around for one year is exciting…which I do.  

One year ago today Katie started the process of giving birth and in the mean time I popped this little beauty out.  I wasn’t sure I had anything to say, but here I am one year later still sharing every mundane and perhaps mildly inappropriate thought that comes into my head.  I think we’re all better for it:)

One of my fav blogs does giveaways all the time….it’s very exciting.  So I decided to do the same in order to celebrate the bday of my little baby.  So here we go…you ready for this?  Brace yourself.

I’m giving away a $10 starbucks gift card and a $10 chick-fil-a gift card!  Tadah!!!!

Ok, so maybe that’s not all that exciting, but free crap is better than no crap right?  That’s not a Mikeism, but it should be.  

Yall are going to have to humor me in order to win, though.  I want to know what everyone’s favorite Mikeism is.  So all you have to do is leave a comment with your fav Mikeism and you’re entered to win!  And I’ll give you a little hint…not all the Mikeism are tagged as a Mikeism…so you might have to dig a little:)  And if you’re a weirdo and don’t like Mikeisms then just leave a comment with your fav saying…it’ll still count.  One entry per person.  I’ll randomly choose the winner tonight.  Have fun! 

PS…you can still ask questions…I’ll try to start answering them on Monday.  Yall aren’t holding back either…preciate that.  If you don’t mind the awkwardness then neither do I:)           

I’ve almost been at this blogging deal for a whole year.  I know you are so excited about that.  I remember I started the day before Katie had Bella.  It was a momentous month…the birth of Bella and the birth of schMORGANsborg.  So in celebration of that time and in honor of the full disclosure that I have been so committed to on this blog over the past year, I thought we would have a Q&A session.  I really don’t know what you could possibly have to ask me since I share every detail of my life on this thing, but just in case I’ve missed anything here’s your chance.  Annnnd basically I don’t really have anything to say right now so I could use a little help k? k.  Here’s how it works.  Leave me a question in the comments…anonymous if you like…and then in a later post I will answer all your burning questions about me, life, why the braves suck…whatever you like.

Anyone?  Bueller?  Bueller?    

p.s. stay tuned for schMORGANsborg’s anniversary on Friday…rumor has it there might be a giveaway.